Ultimate Nerdy Time-Travel Trip

Posted: 23rd April 2011 by 7ucyClark in words

Topless Robot is hosting a contest for time travel ideas.
By not truly understanding the nature of the contest (because I don’t always read things through), I came up with an idea that, while similar, doesn’t really gibe with the proposal. That didn’t stop it from turning into a short story.

‘Answers’ and Solutions
If I had the chance at time travel… what would I do?
That’s easy. I’ve already done it.
I used to be a ball player; had a pretty good chance at a Major League career. I was a good hitter and (I don’t mind saying this) a great fielder. I wouldn’t have been a star on any team, but I would’ve made a living as a journeyman utility player.
The only thing that stopped me? I’m not sure who to blame it on… Douglas Adams, or Jackie Robinson.
I’ve always been an Adams fan (I mean, really… who’s not?). And for my number, I wanted 21, because, you know… it’s ‘the answer’. But I can’t have 21, because it was Robinson’s number, and it’s been retired across the league. And I don’t want to play if I can’t have that number.
So I availed myself of, as I saw it, the only solution.
When I finished my Geo-Temporal Distortion Device (pat. pend.), I traveled to Austin Texas, 1945. It wasn’t too much difficulty to persuade Robinson to change his number to 42 (good thing, as I only had five minutes before ‘pull-back*’); he wasn’t all that attached to it.
When I returned, the first thing I did was check Wikipedia. And Robinson’s number is 42. All is good in the world. Right?
Pfff
Turns out Adams was a huge Jackie Robinson fan. Who knew?
So I can’t have the ‘answer’ for my number. I if I can’t have that… I don’t want to play.

There are those of you who are going to ask, “If you have the power of time-travel, and fore-knowledge, why didn’t you warn Adams about his heart condition?”
Valid question. Answer? It was a one-shot deal. By the method I’ve devised, the body can only make the transition to-and-from one time. But honestly? Even if there were unlimited travel opportunities? If I can’t have ‘the answer’ for my number, then you can’t have Douglas Adams.

* automated fail-safe retrieval. I’ve seen First World Problem.

–The original title was DNA and MLB… but that was a little misleading

Comments are closed.