Maryland Warrior Dash, 2011

Posted: 23rd May 2011 by 7ucyClark in cultural, miscellaneous, not a sports blog

[Update] The results are in. Lucy came in 33 in her age/gender group and  3618 overall (out of 8723), with a time of 36:59.45.  Yay Lucy!
I placed 32 in my age/gender group, and 413 overall, with a time of 25:37.6.  meh
I’ll do better next time.
The fellow who took overall best time?  17:16.25.  Clearly he was working with some sort of cybernetic enhancements.  And a jet-pack.

Maryland’s hosting of the Warrior Dash was this weekend past, and Lucy & I participated.  The event was held at Bud’s Creek Raceway, a motocross track in Mechanicsville*.  This course was, in my opinion, an improvement over last year’s (Quarryville PA), in both condition and layout.  And when I say “condition”, I’m am speaking of ‘race’ condition.  The portions of the track that were supposed to be sloppy were sloppy, and the parts of the track that were supposed to be dry were dry.  It appears that a lot of effort went into the set up.

As with last year, the online map was a bit misleading.  Many of the obstacles represented on the map were either not-as-advertised (‘cliffhanger’), or completely absent (‘deadweight drifter’, ‘road rage’…).  But it was still a fun course, and at the end, I did not at all find myself thinking gosh darn it, I just didn’t get enough (unless that ‘enough’ happened to be referring to oxygen…).

I believe my favorite obstacle may have been the white-trash water slide (‘petrifying plunge’)… which, coincidentally, happened to be Lucy’s least favorite; she picked up some tarp-rash (poor Lucy).
The most difficult aspect for me was certainly the mud-factor; the event designers placed the boggy-bits up through the first third of the course, and that sucked all the endurance straight out of my legs.  The ‘barricade breakdown’ was especially taxing, as one became ankle (axle?) deep in the muck, and to get over the wall, one needs pull out with the arms.  Bear in mind, this is no longer hoisting mere body-weight, but rather, trying to pull the Earth up, as it’s become vacuum-packed on the feet.  Apparently, Lucy didn’t have as much trouble with that one… I guess gravity affects her differently (I think being a Yoga Master gives her the power to levitate—not sure).

Our finishes appear respectable… Lucy posted a sub-40 minute time, and we’re pretty sure I came in under a half-hour.  And this year, I only got passed by one girl (a marked improvement over last year—ask me about the importance of pacing).

After our heats (I was in the 11:00 wave; Lucy was 12:30), we hung out with the other warriors, listened to the band, watched the race…
I purchased an official Warrior Dash 32oz stein from which to drink my well-earned beer.

And throughout the event, an airplane flew over head dragging a banner that advertised the Tough Mudder… a ten mile, 17-or-so obstacle mud-race (their slogan is, “Iron Man meets Burning Man).

I would like to do that.  That is… I would like to be able to do that.  The event looks hellacious, and I can barely run ten miles without trying to carry logs up a fricken ski-slope (#6. ‘hold your wood’).  But, you know… maybe another couple of Warrior Dashes, and we’ll see what kind of shape we’re in.

So– next year, Lucy & I are embracing the spirit of the event and going in costume; haven’t decided what as… but we’ve got time.  We’re hoping to bring a group of folks; training begins next week for anyone interested.

superheros and literary characters were well represented…

there was Big Daddy, Kick Ass, Hit Girl, and… Super Gonzo?

not-Lucy’s tarp rash

Bud’s Creek, Mechanicsville wins the Jaded Monkey award for best ‘agrarian’ region name.

  1. KEITH EGE says:

    you’ll always be #1 with me, MUD ON YOU MAD BASTARD!!!

  2. affehaus says:

    Thank you sir! it’s always nice to be likened to body-waste.

  3. Dad says:

    One of the guys I sail with on Wednesday was there as well. I’ll pass on his comments